A Pretty Crappy Week

Last Friday I took the girls swimming at the Clearfield Aquatics Center.  We had a lot of fun practicing our swimming and going down the big slide.  Later that night however Lily started to throw-up.  I figured she must have swallowed a lot of chlorine water and her body was trying to get it out.  For the rest of the night and well into the early morning I sat with Lily as she hovered over a bowl.  I felt very bad for her because who likes throwing up.  On top of that she had some massive stomach pain going on.  I hate times like these because I feel powerless as a mom.  At one point in the night I tried to coach her through breathing techniques I used during labor.  I thought about arguing with her when she told me that I had no idea how bad it hurt.  O I do all to well but I decided that she did not need to listen to my lecture on that one.

Early Saturday morning Lily finally stopped vomiting and fell asleep.  I was relieved and knocked off as well. Unfortunately Eve was up at her normal 7am time.  Yeah for me but such is the life of a mom.  I was slightly jealous of Will who got to sleep all night and didn't pop open his eyes until about 11:30 Saturday morning.  I had to keep reminding myself though that he doesn't get much sleep during the week so needs to make up for it over the weekends.

Saturday I just kept myself going by working in my yard which was been a huge mental stress reliever for me lately.  I had Lily take it easy by sleeping pretty much the whole day.  Sleeping during the day is something Lily NEVER does even when she was a baby.  This bug she had must have did a number on her though because she was asleep on the couch all day.  It wasn't even the couch in the same room as a tv so yep she was worn out.  Poor baby girl.

Sunday morning Will woke up feeling stomach pain and the next thing I know he is in the bathroom vomiting.  That's when I realized that Lily must of had a bug.  I like to think it was a present given to her on the last day of school.  Kinda like "Enjoy your Summer but let's give you a bug to start it off right".  Poor Will was sick all day.  I just closed the door to our room and left him to it.  That's the beauty of adults, they don't need help throwing up.  The best thing for adults is to leave them alone.  I felt bad but also relieved I was not needed to help out there.  I figured me keeping the girls away and giving him space was my way for helping out.

By Sunday night he finally stopped vomiting but said his body ached pretty bad.  He looked like Hell.  As I was getting liquids for Will to re-hydrate I prayed that Eve would not get it.  In fact I prayed that I would get it over Eve.  Well fate was not on my side.

Eve was sitting on the stairs and not looking so good.  I asked her if she was okay and well that's when the vomit starting flowing.  Here we go again.  My only question is why do kids start the sickness at night?  Why can't they start first thing in the morning and have it through the day?  Once again I spent the whole night helping Eve puke in a bowl.  It just sucks as a mom to watch your kids be sick and to not really have anything to help them out.  It's just a matter of letting it run it's course.

I thought by morning Eve would be done because it was just a 24 hour thing with Lily and Will.  Eve did pretty good during the day minus that fact that she was dead tired.  Unfortunately night came and Eve starting puking again...ALL NIGHT!  Morning came and once again I thought okay she's probably done now.  Again she did great during the day just super cranky from fatigue.  That night I was thinking that maybe I would finally get some sleep.  It was looking promising when I went to bed but at 12 am Eve walked in my room (yep so tired I didn't even hear you get out of bed which I normally do) telling me that she went potty in her diaper.(Eve sleeps in diapers at night because her body doesn't wake her up most the time when she needs to go).  I told her it was okay because she had a diaper on and went to take her to bed.  I then smelled it...the dreaded diarrhea.  O it was so bad I was trying very hard not to puke myself.  Poor baby though her little butt was just on fire from all that diarrhea.  I put her in a warm bath to try to sooth her which kinda helped but she was so tired that she was just miserable.  Long gross story short it was a very crappy long night...literally.

When morning came I woke Lily up to watch Eve(Will is in Montana from Monday to Friday every week) so I could run to the gas station to buy some pepto.  I was desperate.  The pepto did help slow things down for her which her poor little butt needed.  On top of all this the girls started swimming lessons this week.  Unfortunately Eve has missed pretty much the whole week and has to sit and watch Lily swim.  It helps though that Eve has had two sessions of swimming lessons very recently so she is not too upset.

Wednesday night I was praying that Eve would finally get a full nights rest and get over this stupid virus.  Luckily Eve slept great and so did I.  Eve did get up a 6am but was perfectly happy entertaining herself so I was able to sleep until 8am.  Wow I felt like a million bucks today compared to the previous days.

What a way to start the Summer break.  It didn't help that Lily was bored out of her mind and I couldn't take her anywhere because Eve needed to stay home.  On top of that it rained like crazy which made it feel like winter.  Don't get me wrong I love the rain but it just was not a good week for it or my depressive mood.

Hopefully things will start to go up from here.  Will is suppose to be home tomorrow and Eve so far has not had any symptoms since yesterday afternoon.  Now I need a mini vacation from life...yeah right.

Sisters, Sisters

Tomorrow is the last day of school and then Summer break has officially began!  I'm pretty excited about the break and I know Lily is also.  Lily was invited a few days ago to a 'End of School' party right after school tomorrow.  I thought it was a cute idea and thought it would be fun for Lily.  I have been concerned about Eve and her reaction when Lily heads out to the party without her.  I didn't mention it to Lily and have been trying to think of ideas of what to distract Eve with.

Tonight when I was tucking the girls into bed Lily asked me to call her friends mom tomorrow to ask if Eve can came to the party also.  I was touched by this request and had a small proud mamma moment in my heart.  Lily took it one step further by making me pinkie swear that I would call and ask tomorrow.

I was lucky to grow up with 4 beautiful sisters.  I was really close to one seeing as we were only 2 years apart.  Tricia is older than I am and could have picked on me and made life miserable.  Instead we were the best of friends.  We would tell friends we could not play because we were too busy playing with each other. Tricia made sure that I had someone to walk home from school with and looked after me.  In High School she would let me tag along with her and her friends.  Many weekends just the two of us would drive to Sugar House to see a moving.  I was very lucky to have her as my sister and friend.

As an adult my relationship with my other sisters has grown into deep meaningful bonds.  I love them all deeply.  When I was pregnant with Eve(before I new that she was a girl) I secretly hoped for another girl.  I new that I should want a boy but I just wanted a sister for Lily so much.  I wanted her to experience the bond that I have with my sisters.  I see that bond between these two little sisters and it just melts my heart.  They don't even realize how lucky they are but over time they will.  I am so touched by Lily's love for Eve tonight.  What sweet girls I have been blessed with.

Building A Retreat

I feel that all I do these days is pull weeds, move rocks, mow the lawn(over and over) and pick up dog poop.  I love my large yard and all the possibilities.  Will have put a lot of work into it in the short amount of times that we have been here.  Now that he is gone all week long I need to step it up an take over.  Wow what a job I have.  I have been pulling weeds every day (minus the very rainy days) and it looks like I have done nothing.  It doesn't help that my weeds have already grown massive in size and have woven their roots deep into the earth.  How come it is that weeds can grow in any climate or location.  There is no such thing as too much or too little sun, water or no water.  It doesn't even matter what kind of dirt or any for that matter.  They will thrive under any condition.  Flowers and pretty plants are a whole different story.  If you do not give them your constant attention they will shrivel up and die.  So unfair.

This picture shows what my wheels barrels look like at all times.  I look at it and think I made progress and then I turn around and see how much I still have to go. (Above picture is not my yard.  I'm too tired to take one to post).

As for mowing the lawn I do not mind that.  I have been mowing long for a long as I can remember.  I enjoy it because I can see progress being made, it's loud and let's my thoughts flow and for the most part people leave me alone.  Really my complaint about the lawn is dealing with how to dispose of the clippings.

Next is the forever hated poop control.  Why is it that I was the chosen to take care of all the pets needs?  The dogs only whine to me early in the morning for food or to go out.  I am the one the seek out whenever they need something.  On top of that I have complete responsibility to cleanup the dog poop.  If I don't do it it doesn't get done.  I can't stand poop in my yard so I am out there at least twice a day cleaning up after them.  I hate it but not much I can do there.

Moving rocks and tree stumps is really not something that is required.  I just have thoughts which turn into projects.  I also have this thing where I feel that I can do most anything or I will at least try before asking Will for help.  Last week I moved several very large rocks to build a fairy village in my yard.  I say it's for the girls, which it is, but I am really excited about it.  I have some sore muscles to show for my excitement.

Long boring story short all my time lately has been in my yard.  I'm really hoping that the image I have in my head will one day be a reality.  Here's to hoping.

Loser

The other day I was making dinner and Eve started talking to me about her other mom.  I had to stop her and ask what she meant.  I had no idea she had another mom.  It goes something like this:

Eve: So my other mom is really mean
Me: What is your other moms name?
Eve: Her name is loser and she is really mean
Me: Lose huh, that's an interesting name
Eve: Yeah my other moms name is Loser and she punches me in the face.
Me: (Looking at Lily who is reading a book but stopped to figure out what this is all about) Lily what is Eve talking about?
Lily:  I don't know mom, Eve is just weird sometimes. (Lily had checked out of the conversation)
Eve: My other mom punches me in that face and punches Daddy in the face.
Me: Do you have two dads also?
Eve: No just the one and my other mom punches him and then he died and then she killed me and I died.  But it's okay we came back to life and the other mom died.
Me: (Speechless)

Later I had Eve tell Will the story which pretty much stayed the same.  We have no idea where she is getting this from.  Eve comes up with all sorts of interesting stores and has a unique imagination.  Will did say that he may be concerned that we will have Child Protective Services called on us though.  This mean mom named Loser sounds like a violent killer.

On The Road Again

Will is going to be in Montana and Wyoming(maybe) Monday through Thursday for the next two years.  I have been asked by those few that know "How will you ever survive that?".  Now the thought that ran through my mind is "Really, Really how hard is that".  Will and I have a very different life than most of the friends/family/neighbors that I know.  When you work in construction there is no set schedule.  I learned long ago that to survive I must simply go with the flow.

Aren't we cute

When we were first married I was okay(somewhat) with the late hours because I was working myself and kept pretty busy.  I was used to only really doing things on the weekend.  I was also pregnant two seconds after saying "I Do" and slept a lot because making a baby is tiring.

Then came baby (Lily)

Wow did things change!  I remember crying each morning when Will left for working because I was so jealous that he got to leave and go out into the world.  That's a whole other story so I won't go there.  It's when Lily came that I began to realize that Construction is not all it's cracked up to be.  Okay maybe it is because most people don't have awesome things to say about it.

Anyways, Will was a new husband and Father very quickly and was doing what he thought he was suppose to do.  Go to work and bring home bacon, which is the roll of that man right? Right!  Now Will is not a normal man.  I have been calling him a rare breed from day one.  He works and works very hard.  Not only mentally but physically.  He can work harder, longer, faster and better than most.  I'm not just saying that because I'm his wife, I'm saying that because it's fact.  Don't believe?  Take any man you know and put him against Will in a typical work day and Will is going to win.

Back to my point.  Will worked from sun up to WAY PASSED sun down.  His normal work day was from 6am to 11pm.  No I am not exaggerating. It was rough adjusting to that.  Since then Will has seen that coming home earlier when possible is important and he works hard to divide his time.  However he is still in construction and you work when you can get it.  That means that I have learned to be happy on the days he comes home early(early is 6pm) but not to expect it.  I find that if I think each night is a late night than the early nights are like my reward.  It works for me.

Now finally to me point...I did not see Montana as a big deal because I figured it would be like those late nights when I see him, say hello and then goodnight.  This is also not the first time that Will has been out of town for work.  There have been times when he has been gone for a week at a time here and there.  So again I don't see what the big deal is because this is our life.

The problem however came late last night when I finally decided to go to bed.  I could not sleep without him and my bed felt very empty.  I don't know why this time is different but I had a hard time last night.  The days are fine but going to bed without Will is not working for me.  I guess it's the thought that hit me as I lay in bed last night.  Will is going to be gone 4 to 5 nights every week for possibly two years.  Hum this is a new hurtle for me.

As I was feeling sorry for myself I then thought about Will having to be away from home living with a bunch of annoying men.  I stopped feeling sorry myself and started to cry for Will and his situation.  O Will the things he does for his family.  I just hope that he makes it through this okay.

And that's my story.  

Time to take charge

I was sitting in the salon chair about a week ago getting my hair cut.  Now this is not something I get to do often maybe 6 months to a year.  Yes I know that I am suppose to cut my hair on a more regular basis but it's expensive and I can't just go anywhere.  I have been spoiled so I need the best or close to the best.

I'm getting off the subject.  As I was sitting there I looked at myself in the mirror.  What I mean is I really looked at myself in the mirror.  I am not a big fan of mirrors so I try to avoid them or just glance when needed.  As I was looking in the mirror I noticed lots of wrinkles and very tired eyes.  I realized that I had aged.  What when did that happen?  I decided that I needed to get out of the chair and get rid of all the mirrors in my house.

Since then I have been thinking a lot about what I saw in the mirror.  I also thought about a youtube video going around about women and how they see themselves.   If you haven't seen it you need to:   http://youtu.be/iswiKQbtwXQ

As I watched this I wondered how I would describe my face.  Now this may sound vain but I have always thought that my face really isn't that bad.  It's one part of my body that does not disgust me.  It's from the neck down that I do not like.  Now that my face seems to be going down hill I've decided that maybe I should work on it.  Then I thought maybe I should stop complaining about my body and work on that to.  Easier said then done.  It's not that I haven't tried before with many successes and failures.  Well here we go again.  Now to change your body I think the first place to start is food.  You can work out all you want but to improve your body fully and for the best food is the place to focus.

I have started but cutting out all foods that are not natural.  This may be difficult but I figure it's a really good thing for my body.  I am also hoping that this will limit or even eliminate all the junk my girls consume.  I am not a big candy bar person or fast food even though I do have it from time to time.  I do love my licorice and Diet Coke pretty much everyday.  Also with Summer coming that means more on the go which brings in Fast Food.  I've decided that I will cut these things out altogether.

In order for this to happen I will have to plan ahead so that when we are out on the go and meal time comes around I will need to have food packed from home.  Hey this may even help out on the wallet.

I've also decided that I can have desserts but there are plenty of desserts that I can make from home that do not require preservatives.  The name of the game here is Natural.  No desserts that come in a package.  I would like to think that I am living back in the time of the pioneers where they didn't have all the fast food or limited supply of sugar treats.  I am extremely grateful to take advantage of all the other modern stuff such as indoor plumping and air-conditioning. 

So there you have it that's my new goal.  Now feel free to share things that work for you and your families.  I'm all for new ideas.